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New York Lottery

I was hiking through the woods when I remembered - the numbers were going to be announced tonight. Good thing I had my super-duper modern cell-phone with features like lottery update.

I was up for a huge gain in the New York Lottery. Oh my, I stood to win something like one hundred and fifty dollars before taxes.

I put down the pile of leaves I'd been examining for the last three hours and started pressing buttons on my phone to get that fortuitous update. I messed up all of my settings and wept, alone in the wilderness.

Then, at 8:09pm, when it was dark and ominous in the woods, the transmission came in, glowing green. Hmph, I said as I saw that I hadn't one matching number.

Oh well - so much for winning one hundred and fifty dollars before taxes in the New York Lottery, I thought. I walked along, further losing my way in the woods as the night got deeper and darker. Hmph.

When they found me a few days later, I was repeating, "New York Lottery, New York Lottery."

A burly guy on the rescue crew said, "What, did you win, fella?" Then to his colleagues, "I think this guy won the New York Lottery and was shocked into a catatonic state."

He was wrong though. I hadn't won the New York Lottery by any means. I was just lost - just cold and naked and sick with hunger and loneliness.